Not my natural habitat

Turns out everything you need in life (well for 7 months at least) can fit into the back of a Vauxhall Viva – who knew! And last week said Vauxhall Viva and I drove off into the sunset (for 12 hours) to a small Hebridean Island (Inner not Outer I hasten to add).

I’ve settled into my cosy abode ‘The Smiddy’ - the old blacksmiths cottage. The weather has been mostly, and very unexpectedly, warm, sunny and quite frankly, stunning. I’ve walked every day over the fields and hills, subconsciously getting a feel for this place that I have chosen to spend an entire winter in….on my own.

Now that in itself is something of a mystery. My tendency is to migrate south for the winter. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever in my life headed north at all for any of my travels. It’s not my natural habitat. My usual hammock, sarong, and flip flops seem to have been replaced with a log fire, a selection of ever attractive fleece tops, and wellie boots. Golden sand has become green rolling fields, warm clear blue waters have become ice cold lochs, and monkeys swinging in trees have become sheep glaring at me as if to say, “what the hell are you doing here? Costa Rica is that way!”

And truth be told, a week in, I’ve already had a few “what the fuck am I doing here?” moments. But I mean that literally – what am I actually doing here? As in, why did I come? What is my purpose here? What am I going to do with my time? And what, if anything, will I have to show for it come April?

Well, the quick fire answers to those questions are…I came to write, I came to get away from some of the madness that’s going on, I came for an adventure, I came to get out of my comfort zone, I came to try something different, I came to grow and develop, I came because this opportunity dropped into my lap after a series of synchronicities and I always take notice of synchronicities, I came because I just knew I shouldn’t say no.

So I’m here, trying to find my groove in what is a very different environment, a very different lifestyle, a very different landscape. The solitude is interesting, as I already know from long silent meditation retreats, when the external chatter stops, the internal chatter goes up FULL VOLUME!! But I have my writing, I have my yoga, I have my meditation, I have every intention of swimming in that loch, I have every intention of being open to all that this experience brings my way, I have every intention of getting to know myself even more. I wonder… who I will be here?