Letting Go

Isn’t it interesting that my predominant thought as I made the three and a half hour drive to Plymouth to catch the ferry to Santander to begin my new life was: God, I really wish I’d bought my dungarees!

I could have been thinking about all those that I’d left behind, friends and family, not knowing when I’d see them again. I could have been thinking about what a huge journey I was embarking on, driving Van down through Spain into Portugal to set up a whole new life, not knowing how it will all unfold. But probably for those reasons, it was safer to keep thinking about my dungarees, that I happen to be very attached to, and wondering what on earth was going on for me when I made a very conscious decision not to bring them with me. I knew I had weight issues (which had nothing to do with how I looked in said dungarees and everything to do with how much I had already packed into Van) but it seemed I also had attachment issues. My obsessing was undeniable, I even contemplated turning back for them at one point!

Then as I lay in my cabin on the 20 hour ferry crossing, still having thoughts about my beloved denim, I suddenly realised that this was all just serving as a reminder of the power of letting go. I’ve worked a lot on non-attachment over the past few years, gradually letting go of stuff as well as beliefs I thought defined me. The simple fact is, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now if it weren’t for practising non-attachment and like all practices, it’s on-going, as my concern about the growing distance between me and my dungarees was proving.

Letting go is freedom. Buddha was probably onto something when he said that all suffering comes from attachment! Letting go enables you to take risks, get out of your comfort zone, follow your instincts and lead you to places of expansion and growth. Isn’t that what life is all about?

As I was rocked to sleep, I realised that if I had bought my dungarees with me, I wouldn’t have had this reminder. A reminder that bought with it a sense of pride and achievement at what I was doing and all that had led me to this point.

I was suddenly glad that I’d left them behind…undoubtedly they had proved to be worth much more to me that way after all.